Hey there, friend.

Don't panic. I'm not going to hurt you much. And I won't be giving you any spoilers; but sit down. We need to talk.

First things first: Your suspicions at this point are totally valid. You're not ready for what's coming, and you're going to fuck it up. So brace yourself; changes are coming. This time next year, you'll be well on your way to becoming someone you never thought you would--and you'll like it.

It won't all be pleasant. I didn't lie when I said you'd fuck it up...and that royally. Here's one spoiler, just because I can't stand the suspense: you're no one's Christ.

There, that wasn't so bad. I know that won't change anything. I know, for a fact, you've heard that before. I know you're going to chug right along, Captain Save-A-Ho. But believe me when I say that you'll be glad when it hits you.

It's going to be a slow burn, like everything is with you. People think a lot of things about you, and I know you're perceptive enough, even now, to know that. Some of them think you're flighty (and sometimes you really are), but I know you, buddy. Nothing big changes with you, except over time.

But this...messiah complex of yours. You're going to blame it on her later. Yep, that one. Oh, no...no spoilers, dude. Just be advised, you're going to have to let that go. The complex, that is. We're not doing spoilers.

It's not healthy for you, and it doesn't really help anyone. It places you on a false pedestal, and that's the absolute last thing you need. It's going to hurt, and you need to know that it's something inherent in your own nature. It's no one's fault...not really even yours. It's a negative manifestation of some of your better traits.

He was right when he said you were cocky. As a rooster, that's how he said it, didn't he? Well, in any case, he was right about you. And you know it. You don't like it, but you do know it. You think because your pride doesn't show up in the need to beat your chest and fling shit at your rivals that the people who know you best don't think it's there?

News flash, you've got a vanity problem. Trust me, kid. You'll have it for a long time. Stop looking in the mirror; you're still pretty.

And for fucksake, you really need to relax. You're eighteen, not thirty.

I won't give you any spoilers, because you're going to find yourself in unpleasant situations a lot. You have a bad habit of cracking a vase, and then shattering it so you don't have to fix the crack. Maybe...not to tell you how to live my life, but just maybe...have a care for the way you handle people. Yeah, you genuinely do outgrow people sometimes, and there needs to be a clean break; but you don't always have to throw the ball so hard, you know?

I won't give you any spoilers, because despite those rough patches, I can't say with all assurance that every single one of them didn't get you where you're going. And there are some things worth taking it on the chin a few times for. So tough luck.

Keep the river in mind. Deep, brown, and beautiful. Faster than you think, just looking at it. 

Learn to accept your own definition of honor. Almost everyone you know right now is trying to enforce their definition of it on you; it will suck, but you will not let them. And understand this: there's nothing wrong with the way you think. Not a damn thing. You can't perceive the things you feel like you should because they're not there. Oh, spoiler alert. Sorry.

It's basically just like this, man.

- You're actually a really cool guy, for all your isms. We probably wouldn't mesh well, to be honest; but I think I could respect you.

- You're not a behavioral health professional. So maybe don't run yourself into the ground trying to fix broken people.

- Read more.

- Stand up for yourself when you know you're right. And stand up for yourself when you know you're not wrong. You get told about your flaws a lot. Like daily. You definitely have flaws; but that's not the way you ought to be treated. And when you can't win (which will be often) walk the fuck out.

- Don't worry about being a man. You can't just up and be one, no matter what you think. You become one, and you won't like it most of the time. So be a kid.

- Smoke weed.

- Read more.

- Enjoy Papa and Grandpa.

- Go hang out with your friends. Andrew can be difficult sometimes, but there's something about the reflection of yourself you see when you're around him that you'll never get from anywhere else. 

- Hang out with your brother. He's not a fuck up; and fuck you for thinking that. He's what, fourteen right now? Trust me, he's got his shit together a lot more than you.

- Keep your eyes, mind, and heart open. Good things pass by when you're not paying attention. You might catch them early.

- Go on and try to follow your current plans. I know they seems wobbly, and (one more spoiler) they'll fall apart like a house of cards; but they make you into someone so very different from who you are now, it'd blow your mind.

That's all, man. Good luck, and good speed.